When your own children are part of your wedding party, the emotional stakes are different from any other family photograph. These are not just formal shots — they are images that will sit on bookshelves for decades, shown to those children when they're grown. Getting them right takes preparation, patience, and the right photographer.
Before the Day: Involve Them in the Planning
Children who feel included in the wedding preparation are significantly easier to photograph. Show them images, talk about what will happen, and let them have a small choice — the colour of their shoes, which flower they carry. A child who feels like a participant rather than a prop cooperates completely differently on the day.
The Key Shots to Prioritise
Brief your photographer explicitly on which moments involving your children matter most:
- The first look — if children see you in your wedding outfit for the first time, that reaction is a photograph worth everything
- Walking down the aisle — whether they're beside you or watching from a pew
- The vow moment — children who haven't been briefed on ceremony behaviour can produce extraordinary unplanned reactions during vows
- A private family moment — a few minutes alone together as a family before the reception is worth scheduling explicitly
- End of the night — tired children leaning against parents, shoes off, full of food; the most tender domestic images
The Timing Problem and How to Solve It
Children's windows of cooperation are narrow and unpredictable. The formal family photograph session should be scheduled when your children are most likely to be settled — usually after the ceremony while energy is still high, before the reception meal. After dancing and late into the evening, younger children are either overtired or overstimulated. Either state makes posed photographs very difficult.
Keep the formal family session short — 10 to 15 minutes maximum — and supplement with documentary shots throughout the day when children are relaxed and unposed.
The Emotional Reality
Parents photographing their children at their own wedding are usually balancing enormous emotion. The photograph of a parent wiping away a tear while their child stands beside them in wedding clothes is one of the most powerful images of the whole genre. Don't suppress these moments — let them happen.
Getting married with your children in the party?
These are some of the most meaningful photographs I take. I'd love to document your family on your day. Get in touch.
